Roots & Hope

Soulful Reflections on Faith, Healing, and Young Adulting

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Since Feb. 2016, I’ve encouraged myself and others on this honest blog, Roots and Hope. I love to share my heart about faith, mental health, & young adulting.
  • Bare Beauty

    Bare Beauty

    I feel comically naked and tremendously plain. It is rare for me to go any day without adorning myself with earrings. A girl of simplicity, in some ways, I definitely don’t have the most fashion sense. My closet is minimalistic with the exception of “show OUT” items for special occasions 😂. So long as I can confidently wear my smile and a pair of earrings though, I am more likely to feel better about my appearance. Unfortunately, my sensitive ear lobes have finally stopped allowing my antics.

    For years, I have had a nickel metal allergy. Not even the cute, cheap fashion jewelry with “nickel free” on the packaging is sufficiently gentle. While there are “real” earrings out there, they are, of course, more expensive and far less expressive. I recently confronted these annoyances by challenging myself to try something new. Rather than bearing discomfort, constantly applying clear polish on my earrings, or buying special sprays to apply to fake jewelry, I went bare.

    Even if no one else who regularly saw me noticed, I was keenly aware that an accessory so “crucial” to my beauty was gone. In the time that’s passed, my ears have been itch-free and unbothered. I am learning that I can be bare and still my own brand of beautiful. I like my smile. I like my cocoa skin. I like my blue wristband that says, “The Marathon Continues”. I like the ridiculous way I imagine myself looking while having a gut-deep laugh. And I like the warmth I release when I give myself a break from being self-conscious. While a new, lovely pair of earrings is definitely on my wish list, I am telling myself that I have enough beauty to embrace for now.

    Have you ever experienced a similar scenario?

  • Alone

    Alone

    Sometimes, I know that being

    alone

    and whole

    at the same time

    is possible.

    Sometimes, lessons only

    heal me

    when I hear them in solitude.

    Sometimes, adventure only

    comes alive

    when I follow the pace

    of my own

    schedule and curiosity.

    Sometimes, I need to be

    anonymous to everyone

    in my surroundings

    except for God

    to learn that I am enough.

    Sometimes,

    people watching by myself

    in crowded places

    helps me to breathe

    outside of my head.

     

    And sometimes, bravery

    looks like refusing

    to postpone living

    on occasion

    that I don’t have a plus one.

    Maybe, I am not the only one

    learning how to determine

    which balance

    of retreating and connecting

    is best for me.

    Maybe, I am not the only one

    hoping to honor

    that love for God

    love for self,

    and love for others

    makes its home

    in the shared accommodation

    of aloneness and community.

  • 3 A.M. Reminders

    3 A.M. Reminders

    3am reminders: It is never too late to (re)commit to that goal or that vision placed inside you. It is always a good time to start somewhere and incorporate a small healthy habit into your routine:

    • Drinking a glass of water with every meal
    • Watching free, instructional YouTube videos to improve a skill
    • Writing a few sentences each day
    • Walking a lap around the track during lunch breaks
    • Saying “I love you” to one person in your family even if it’s “weird”
    • Emailing that potential mentor to schedule a coffee date
    • Adding a few dollars to an emergency savings account each week
    • Listening to that uplifting music playlist on Spotify
    • Saying “thank you” more

    The list goes on…

    You deserve it. And consider this: There is someone whose life will be positively impacted by your first step and your commitment thereafter. Your decision to begin something beautiful and see it through matters. This life is bigger than you. Don’t allow distractions, fear, or comparison to make you selfish.

  • When Fear Has a Solid Grip

    When Fear Has a Solid Grip

    Imagine the endless ways that fear can grip you.

    Perhaps, you are a talented artist. You sense power in your creativity, but your mind trembles at the thought of showcasing it.

    Maybe, you’ve met someone who is struggling with something you’ve overcome. You feel a tug to share your story with them, but the risk of vulnerability is too scary.

    Or, you could be the one person in your family trying to live by faith. You pray that your walk will inspire a desire inside your loved ones to know God for themselves. Still, you fear that your imperfect self can’t be used for such a possibility. You forget that grace is in the color of God’s love. You forget that you wouldn’t need him if you had it all figured out.

    Fear may grip you in a silent way that nobody else knows about. It reaches all of us sometimes or maybe most of the time. It suffocates our peace and hopes with its heavy arms. Fear can grow so familiar that it masquerades itself as a “safe” comforter.

    Whenever fear has too much of a grip on you, try this: think of a hand. Think about the unique sketch of lines and fingerprints that are scattered across its back. Think about the nervous sweat that can seep out of its surface. Then, imagine that someone who truly loves you grabs that same hand and holds it with warmth and firmness and no shame. Chances are, you’ll feel more confident. You’ll feel more brave.

    God, who is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-present, wants to have that type of grip on your hand and on your life. The type that frees you from being stifled by the simple thought of worst case scenarios:

    “For I hold you by your right hand— I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.”
    Isaiah 41:13 NLT

  • Take the Pressure Off

    Take the Pressure Off

    You don’t have to promote yourself.
    You don’t have to be known by everyone to matter and live an abundant life.
    Just by being you and loving God and others as yourself, who knows who you’ll attract? Who knows who will see something so beautiful inside you that they’ll grow curious? Who knows who will be drawn to Jesus by your kindness and your obedience even if you never achieve fame?
    You are already chosen.
    You are enough, already.

    But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.
    1 Peter 2:9 NLT

    #talkingtoyouasItalktomyself ❤

  • Commit to Yourself

    Commit to Yourself

    Loving others has nothing to do with pleasing people and living for validation in return.
    And loving yourself isn’t neat. It’s messy with self-acceptance and self-betrayal. It’s learning to forgive yourself for not always abiding by your core values. It’s giving yourself time to keep exploring who you really are. It’s gratitude for always and already being loved by God.
    Loving yourself is knowing that you deserve commitment, first and foremost from you.
    It’s recognizing that this life ain’t just about you and the fears shaking up your head. It’s shining how you shine even when it’s scary. It’s helping someone else with your gifts and glorifying God in the process.
    So if you, like me, have been a people pleaser, you can begin to change that narrative. Identify yourself as recovering and move forward, accordingly.
    If you, like me, are easily distracted on the path of personal growth, don’t beat yourself up. Just start with small acts of discipline. Pray for help. Meditate on an encouraging verse or quote. Until you mean it, say those three words of utmost affirmation to yourself: I love you.
    And if you, like me, often compare yourself to others, remind yourself over and over that you were never meant to live the life of someone else, not even your favorite preacher, motivational speaker, mentor, best friend, or the person you follow on Instagram with the dope highlight reel.
    “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
    Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

  • I Feel vs. I Am

    I Feel vs. I Am

    Dear Feelings,

    You are my soul’s response to every experience

    and the teacher who inspires me

    to make art out of life,

    but when you arrive,

    I am careful not to change

    my name to yours.

    Sentences like,

    “I am sad”, or

    “I am sorry”,

    are imprisoning

    whenever I put emphasis

    on the am.

    The adjectives are incomplete

    and not always true.

    I recognize

    the fullness of my identity,

    so I won’t allow you

    to define me

    when you visit

    my day.

    You’ll always pass away

    even if you return

    for a time.

     

     

  • You Are Not Weak

    You Are Not Weak

    What if I told you this:

    You are not weak

    for walking

    by faith

    into cushioned couched offices

    and narrating an hour of your burdens

    in hunger for hope

    and professional help.

    You are not a failure

    to God

    for having a brain

    that works over time

    in a factory of worries,

    sometimes paid in the disappointing wages

    of a Great Depression.

    You cannot be less than

    because your mind struggles

    to make sense

    out of yourself in a world full of inequalities

    And you should not be ashamed

    if your journey

    to trust God

    is abundant

    with creativity,

    an imperfect story

    of prayer and worship,

    fitness and food,

    seeking wise counsel,

    and even taking medicine

    for your brain,

    like one would take insulin for diabetes.

    You are more than a stigma to be left out of the history of champions.

    You are living in spite of heavy weights.

    You are a bright statistic.

    You are equivalent to a future and a hope,

    and your saved life will inspire many more

    as it persists.

    Know that you are embodying

    mighty courage

    in the small, scary steps.

    You are bringing glory to God.

    Would you believe me

    if I said all this to you?

    Would you believe me

    if you knew

    that my evidence was

    me?

  • Overcoming When Money is Tight: A Black Girl’s Thoughts

    Overcoming When Money is Tight: A Black Girl’s Thoughts

    June 30, 2018

    I vividly remember that relentless hot day. After living in my apartment for two years, I moved back home with my family. I made the decision partly because I was preparing to enroll in grad school full-time. My rent was also ridiculously increasing. I knew that if I renewed my lease, I would be living far above my means.

    After surrendering my apartment keys, my drive back home was derailed. My ’02 Buick Century, which had been my road dawg, had recently begun overheating multiple times daily. That move-out day, the temperature gauge on my dashboard did its familiar dance, “hit the ‘H’”. While my “no car note” life was more comfortable, I knew that my car was dying on me. It would soon be time to shop for a new car, readjust my budget for more reasons than one, and adapt to every life change.

    Adult financial challenges, especially from this past year, have kept me awake many nights. Though I have been blessed to have a stable job, debt and unforeseen expenses have added up. It’s been a battle to trust God and not let either financial success or stress dictate my value. Even so, my experiences have been teaching me several encouraging principles:

    Be resourceful. Financial literacy is a real obstacle for many in the Black community. The lack of accessibility to money management resources clearly deepens wealth and opportunity gaps. It has been crucial for me to seek guidance from wiser individuals within my reach. Several resources have been amazing for me:

    • The Budgetnista: Tiffany Aliche has a powerful testimony of overcoming financial turmoil. Today, she shares tons of information about investing, budgeting, and credit on YouTube and her online school, Live Richer Academy.
    • Soul Tribe Group Coaching: Detroit-based Monica Marie-Jones spearheads this coaching business. Part of her expertise involves inspiring clients, virtually and in person, toward financial empowerment. I was fortunate to be a part of her online Soul Tribe Group.
    • Primerica Life Insurance: I am forever grateful to David Holcomb for teaching me some strategies for conquering debt and the importance of having life insurance.
    • Greenpath Financial Wellness: This nonprofit is the real deal! For $Free.99, you can call this organization and receive credit counseling over the phone.
    • Friends: Can you think of one friend that is financially savvy and loves to talk about what they know? I can think of a couple (shoutout to Leonard). Perhaps, there is someone in your circle who would be eager to chat with you!

    Be giving. When I prayerfully give, I feel abundant. Regardless of how drastic my debts are, I am not empty. I try to reflect on how meaningless my gifts, talents, and resources would be if I kept them to myself. For me, giving looks like tithing at my church and searching for opportunities to be a blessing to others.

    Be discerning. Note that I mentioned prayerful giving. It is only loving to give with healthy boundaries in place. I now understand that it is never okay to give out of obligation. It is also necessary to sometimes say no. Whenever I say yes out of fear of anger, rejection, or whatever else, I am not being directed by love or freedom. In their book Boundaries, Drs. Cloud and Townsend break it down simply:

    “…if we say yes to God or anyone else when we really mean no, we move into a position of compliance.”

    “Appropriate boundaries don’t control, attack, or hurt anyone. They simply prevent your treasures from being taken at the wrong time.”

    -From Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

    Be hopeful. Financial setbacks are just fragments of a good, cohesive story. Though I still worry about money sometimes, I know that I’m growing. I am convinced that the mishaps are equipping me with wisdom to help others, extending to future generations.

    “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
    -Romans 8:28 NLT

    Be disciplined. I set a budget once per month in accordance with my pay schedule. Some people prefer to create their budgets using Mint.com or Microsoft Excel. I’ve found that budgeting in a journal and sticking to it as much as possible works best for me. Before purchasing something, I am also trying to get into the habit of asking myself, “Why?”.

    Be dependent. In the Bible, the book of Romans says that not even my worries can separate me from God’s love. Every day, I am trying to lean on the love and provision of God, who is the source of everything that I have.

    And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
    -Philippians 4:19 NLT

    Be grateful. Regularly writing in my gratitude journal shifts my focus from fear, scarcity, and comparison. It helps me to perceive my life as overflowing with small, beautiful moments.

    Be kind to yourself. My forever friend, Tae, says it best: Be grateful for the wisdom you’ve gained. In exchange for your mistakes and every experience, you have the opportunity to gain something that is indispensable.

    “Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.”
    -Proverbs 3:15 NLT

    I’ll leave it at this. My credit score, bank account, or anything material does not define me. This capitalistic society may try to depict self-worth as something to be determined by net worth, a number. That is a lie. Along my journey to financial stability, I am cautious to not trust money more than I trust God. I am mindful that accumulating money without the right heart leads to dangerous misuse.

    With love and honesty,

    Jess

     

     

     

  • Stevie Wonder: A Tribute & Some Hope

    Stevie Wonder: A Tribute & Some Hope

    I am committed to Stevie Wonder’s music like Stevie Wonder is committed to his braids. Growing up, I annoyed my Mama while singing along to every song on 92.3 and 105.9, songs like “Ribbon in the Sky”, “Do I Do”, and “Overjoyed”. To this day, I dream of marveling at his talent while he performs live, of sitting so close to the stage that I can see dust relaxing on his piano. It is an honor to be from the same city as this musically gifted genius.

    While I have always loved Stevie’s music, its meaning has become more significant in adulthood. In the past four years, it has been a dear friend to me in the difficult and joyful times of solitude. It has strengthened my imagination for the better, sharpening my visions of the legacy that love can leave, the importance of celebration, the commonality of sadness, and the timelessness of music that is honest. Along my ongoing journey with mental health, Stevie Wonder’s masterpieces have also reminded me of hope and happiness. Of the special, soulful adventure of resonating with sounds and lyrics that someone has so wholeheartedly composed.

    In tribute to Stevie Wonder, I am thrilled to share several songs that have been instrumental to my twenty-something life:

    Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing (1973)

    This is one of my favorite Stevie hits! It is non-stop excitement in one track, starting with the Latin-influenced beat and boisterous intro. After Stevie Wonder sings and shouts “Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing” enough times, you have no choice but to relax and smile.

    Superwoman (1972)

    On her album “Mama’s Gun”, Erykah Badu’s song, “Green Eyes”, is about love and jealousy. Each chapter of the song has a different beat; yet, all parts fold into each other beautifully. Similarly, Stevie Wonder’s “Superwoman” is one of my favorite songs to admire. For 8 minutes, he reflects on a woman named Mary. It is so gentle and crafty of a listen that time won’t press as much.

    My Cherie Amour (1969)

    I am a bonafide sap, the girl who sheds thug tears while listening to a heartfelt love song (Musiq Soulchild, anyone?). “My Cherie Amour” is one of those songs if you catch me on the right day.

    Sir Duke (1976)

    Sir Duke is marching band brilliance, an homage to music that we couldn’t forget even if we tried.

    Golden Lady (1973)

    I recently discovered this song. The opening sequence captivates me every time.

    As (1976)

    Image result for nia long and taye diggs as stevie wonder
    “As” was pivotal to the film, “The Best Man”. In the movie, Nia Long and Taye Diggs star as best friends who share something a little deeper. During this college dorm flashback, they dance away to Stevie Wonder.

    “As” reminds me of God’s unconditional love. Its lyrics are a declaration to love someone else forever. It inspires me to not settle for anything less in a life partner. My favorite part of the song is when Stevie’s voice gets real aggressive and uplifting:

    We all know sometimes life’s hates and troubles
    Can make you wish you were born in another time and space
    But you can bet your life times that and twice its double
    That God knew exactly where he wanted you to be placed
    So make sure when you say you’re in it but not of it
    You’re not helping to make this earth a place sometimes called Hell
    Change your words into truths and then change that truth into love
    And maybe our children’s grandchildren
    And their great-great grandchildren will tell
    I’ll be loving you

    If You Really Love Me (1971)

    In this song, Stevie Wonder is fed up and tired of his romantic interest’s mind games. Somehow, this track still manages to be so upbeat and happy.

    You Are the Sunshine of My Life (1972)

    Radiant. This song’s title says enough on its own.

    For Once in My Life (1968)

    Stevie Wonder celebrates the bliss of finally loving someone who loves him back. It’s in the same thematic family as Teddy Pendergrass’ classic, “When Somebody Loves You Back”. “For Once in My Life” is one of those exhaling songs, a “With love, I can conquer the world” type of anthem.

    Favorite Song that Stevie Wonder Wrote for Someone Else: I Can’t Help It (1979)

    Stevie Wonder wrote this song for Michael Jackson’s “Off the Wall” album, and it is late ’70s perfection.

    Favorite Stevie Wonder Cover: Ribbon in the Sky by Intro

    In college, my friend, Darrell, introduced me to this underappreciated ’90s R&B treasure. Fun Fact: the lead singer of Intro is from the West Side of Detroit!

     

    Do you have a favorite musician? In what ways has their music shaped your perspective and experiences?

    Stevie Wonder: Detroit
    In June, my cousin graduated from Cass Tech High School. While walking to his graduation, I was geeked to see this new Stevie Wonder mural!