I don’t want to feel sad anymore.

My memory can’t always give me the peace of a precise beginning. All I know is that my sadness started somewhere and stayed.

From secret sadness to downpour sadness, from sadness with a clear cause to sadness with no perceivable why, I’ve felt them all.

Shame bullies me into feeling worse.

  • I am unworthy because I keep feeling sad.
  • My friends and family will get tired of me if tell them I am struggling…again.
  • People can sense when I’m crumbling inside; I need a stronger mask.
  • Why do I feel this way when I have so much to be grateful for?
  • I must be defective.
  • I’ll never get it right.

How easy is it to forget my progress, my help, and my unbreakable bond with love and purpose?

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (Bible, New Living Translation)

10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.

Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you.

    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 (Bible, New Living Translation)

God would never turn me away because I’m hurting.

While home alone yesterday, I washed dishes. As hot water and soap ran over silverware, sticky with Sweet Baby Ray’s, an unfamiliar song met me in solitude. I listened to every word.

Like a long lonely stream
I keep runnin’ towards a dream
Movin’ on, movin’ on
Like a branch on a tree
I keep reachin’ to be free
Movin’ on, movin’ on

‘Cause there’s a place in the sun
Where there’s hope for everyone
Where my poor restless heart’s gotta run
There’s a place in the sun
And before my life is done
Got to find me a place in the sun

Like an old dusty road
I get weary from the load
Movin’ on, movin’ on

Like this tired troubled earth
I’ve been rollin’ since my birth
Movin’ on, movin’ on

There’s a place in the sun
Where there’s hope for everyone
Where my poor restless heart’s gotta run
I know there’s a place in the sun
And before my life is done
Got to find me a place in the sun

You know when times are bad
And you’re feeling sad
I want you to always remember

Yes, there’s a place in the sun
Where there’s hope for everyone
Where my poor restless heart’s gotta run
I know there’s a place in the sun

“A Place in the Sun” by Stevie Wonder

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