“Back to the Future” is my favorite sci-fi movie series, with the exception of Pt. 3 (smh). If I could be like Marty McFly, I would hop in my DeLorean and travel back in time to high school. I would tell ‘teenage Jessica’ three words: “It gets better”. “It”, back then, encompassed my self-esteem, confidence, and my entire life. It all became better. Circumstances are far from perfect and easy today. The difference, though, is my view. I reflect on what I have overcome already. I can see the cracks and spills of life through the lens of hope. It gets better.
Roots & Hope
Soulful Reflections on Faith, Healing, and Young Adulting
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I have to remind myself that I am unconditionally loved. There is a Bible verse that conveys this reminder, beautifully: “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” (Romans 8:38, New Living Translation)
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My voice may tremble. The pit of my stomach might fill with discomfort. My heart may race. My hands may shake. The outcomes may not go as planned, but maybe, they’ll turn out beautifully. Even when I feel fear, I will choose to be brave.
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Change can, of course, be a good thing. It can facilitate growth. At different points in my life, however, I have thought about changing who I am to feel validated and accepted. As I grow older, I feel emptier whenever I betray my true self for the sake of conformity. My life feels fuller and more real when I wake up and show up, authentically.
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If you’ve spent any time around me, then you know that I can really laugh. Some say that my style of laughter is unique, unforgettable, and legendary (okay, maybe I’m fabricating a bit lol). Plus, fun fact: I’m an occasional snorter. Even during my challenging days, finding amusement in at least one thing is the best feeling. I might laugh at someone’s joke, a moment of clumsiness/awkwardness, a classic memory, or a funny video clip. To me, being able to laugh is something like a miracle. It’s a free experience that enhances my good days. On my tough days, it’s a much needed dose of positivity to keep on keeping on.
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I can break unhealthy habits and cycles. I can say yes to new and exciting opportunities. I can say no when I want to, too. I can experience growth by stepping outside of my comfort zone. I can devote fewer thoughts to worrying about what others think. I can believe in myself just like I believe in those I love. Sure, it’s all easier said than done, but it’s still POSSIBLE.
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Remembrance. It sometimes takes me back to seasons of hardship, including loss, disappointment, hopelessness, and shame. Yet, I have persevered through every tough day in my life so far. Many trials involved distress and heartfelt anguish, but none ended my story. I find triumph in my journey, my faith, and my push to better practice vulnerability. I am hopeful that my tough days ahead won’t ultimately conquer me.
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I try to tell myself, “Celebrate the baby steps.” While pursuing my major goals, it can be tough to stay disciplined and motivated throughout the process. Acknowledging small wins along the way boosts my confidence and makes the journey feel worthwhile. I want to become more consistent with journaling, putting a note inside my gratitude box, or talking to a friend about my progress.
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I compare myself to others sometimes. It occurs when I worry that my life, my talents, or anything else doesn’t measure up to someone else’s. In these moments, it is helpful to remember that my journey is unique. God has more than enough love, creativity, and goodness to craft everyone’s path. Genuinely attempting to have gratitude for all I have guides me toward a positive shift in perspective.
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I am alive. When I place my hand over my heart, I feel its telling beat. Its tempo moves in accordance to the range of human emotion – excitement, anxiety, love, contentment, and more. Each morning, my heartbeat reminds me of one hopeful truth. I am still here. Every new day is my opportunity to press forward and strive toward becoming my best, authentic self. Here’s to living.
Roots & Hope 